Someone must have seen me shopping earlier.

I went shopping for cheese at our local farm shop and the queue was around the building. It’s a funny place to shop, great produce, but the clientele all believe they are royalty and think nothing of taking a limb off with their trolley if you’re in the way of their sourdough.To go there on the week before Christmas I must have been mad.

On the way in I found a basket (thought about the agony of carrying it) and headed to the cheese counter. I stood for ages waiting politely and being ignored. I could feel my knees shaking and my lower back begin to protest. I put down the basket and leant on the cool glass for support. How do you tell people you cannot stand for long and that you are hoping that rumble in your tummy isn’t IBS? Just keep smiling. After eventually grabbing the attention of an assistant myself and the lovely lady next to me were told that despite waiting 20 minutes we’d have to join the queue they had started at the other end of the counter. All along they’d been serving at random, theres never a queue there and no sign. Me and my now partner protested. Why hadn’t they told us this 20 minutes ago? I got served, with the coldest, rudest service ever. ‘don’t worry’, said the lady next to me ‘that ones always got an edge’ she meant the assistant not the pungent cheese.

So cheese in basket I turned to join the queue that snaked around the entire building, my heart sank. People were being crafty and joining the queue as soon as they entered the shop, leaving one person waiting and one person whizzing around collecting items. I was on my own. I considered asking the nice lady at the checkouts if I could sit on the floor with my basket and wait the same as everyone else. By now my hands were shaking noticeably, which makes me look like I need a drink a bit too much. The thought of explaining was just too much. If only we had a blue badge on our person to explain that we cannot stand for long periods or may have to leave urgently. I don’t mind waiting my turn but I cannot stand up!

So I put on my best smile and made friends with the people in the queue. The family in front were adorable and straight out of a post from ‘overheard in Waitrose’. ‘Please mummy, may I have the Panettone?’ We all giggled as they compared it to Morrisons. My faves though were the family who had been beside me at the cheese counter. The gentleman wore a sporting navy bow tie and the woman loved my basket technique of put it on the floor and move it with your feet. In fact I started a trend and soon the whole queue was doing it!

Oh Spoonie Problems!