The Jigsaw

Last night I dreamt of a jigsaw puzzle. It was double sided and so large that it wouldn’t fit the table. I kept trying to find paper or card for it to rest on in sections so that they were preserved whilst I focused on another section. Then I found bigger table to move it to but it would fill this one too. It expanded faster than I could manage. 

Everytime I attempted it I couldn’t remember which side I was working on. Then I’d complete a large section and feel good and a sense of achievement. Like a taunt, I could almost glimpse the larger beast. But then I’d realise another section had fallen apart as I neglected it to focus on the current one.

All this was going on whilst others were in and out of the picture. Some people came to help and got sections complete with me. Others came and their insesent chatter and advice hindered the process. All this was trying to be achieved whilst pleasing these people and juggling the pieces. I had to serve dinner, casually chat to people. Even the task of doing something for myself got in the way. I didn’t have time for anything for me and felt isolated and alone. 

I couldn’t tell what the bigger picture was. As I completed small parts people’s faces would appear and sometimes the people around me would know the story behind who they were. This bit I loved and it kept me going.

I got to the point where the jigsaw was so frustrating that it was easier to give up and live in the moment. To ignore it in favour of activities that I could enjoy that made me feel hapoy. But then it became the huge unfinished project. The big box of broken pieces and failure hidden under the table, threatening to explode from its box as it grew.

This morning I googled jigsaws in dreams and found they symbolise the different aspects of our life coming together. That you should take a closer look to see if all the parts actually fit and come together in the right places. Do they all belong?

This couldn’t be more apt as this week I’ve shredded my life once again and asked so many questions. Do I live in the moment because it’s easier and there’s less disappointment? Do I plan for the future, because everytime I do chance and disaster dictate anyway. Am I a hedonist who is so fearful of failure and pain I miss the bigger picture? 

I’m not sure I’m doing any of this right, and it all feels out of  control. Apparently life is exciting like a puzzle, because we don’t know what it looks like in its entirety. I just feel a little lost and would like a peek at the box lid please? Otherwise how do I know if all the pieces belong and whether I like the picture at all? 

Narrow Margins

I can’t ever get this song out of my head. The words, oh the words, they say my all thoughts. The melody gets me in the pit everytime.

“Narrow Margins”
I can’t live this way

Breaking all my rules again

Choking on my gin

You push ’til I give in

‘Til the loser always wins
Somehow with his beckoning

Bruising with his threads

Confusing what he says

But I won’t live that way

Though I kind of want to anyway

Kind of want to play

With all the pretty and the pure

Well I return to the earth

I return to the dust

No more beauty by the pound

And this I do not trust
‘Cause nothing forgives

Rules and narrow margins

In our lives

It’s rules and narrow margins

But I will slip by
I can’t find the time

I don’t know the future

I couldn’t bring that past back

I waste what little time I have
But I swear I almost touched it

Yet it slipped between my fingers

Sent shivers down my spine

Cut a splinter in my mind
But it wasn’t nothing, again

These rules and narrow margins

But our life

Is rules and narrow margins

But I will slip by
Rules and narrow margins

Rules and narrow margins

But I will slip by
Half Moon Run

Moon Worship

Dear Wolf

I, like many others, seem to obsess over the moon of late. For a while I noticed the effects of a full moon. When ever I go a little stir crazy I look at what the moon is doing and there it is in all its glory, the full moon.

“It is the very error of the moon.
She comes more near the earth
than she was wont. And makes
men mad.”

—William Shakespeare, Othello

I’ve done my own little bit of worshiping including the moon phases tattooed on my fingers and my little ‘alter’ for moon spells. You can head over to my Moon Magic board on Pinterest or do a little reading into spells in Diane Ahlquist’s book.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I wanted to know a little more so I  dug in a little deeper googling words like ‘full moon’ and ‘lunacy’. So it’s not a new thing by far. In fact it’s probably gone on as long as there have been people and the moon.

“ACROSS THE CENTURIES, many a person has uttered the phrase “There must be a full moon out there” in an attempt to explain weird happenings at night. Indeed, the Roman goddess of the moon bore a name that remains familiar to us today: Luna, prefix of the word “lunatic.” Greek philosopher Aristotle and Roman historian Pliny the Elder suggested that the brain was the “moistest” organ in the body and thereby most susceptible to the pernicious influences of the moon, which triggers the tides. Belief in the “lunar lunacy effect,” or “Transylvania effect,” as it is sometimes called, persisted in Europe through the Middle Ages, when humans were widely reputed to transmogrify into werewolves or vampires during a full moon.”

The moon controls tides with its gravitational pull and considering the body is 80% water it may be affected too? This is disputed as its only supposed to work on open water. Apparently there was a search for evidence in 1985 by Florida International University psychologist James Rotton, Colorado State University astronomer Roger Culver and University of Saskatchewan psychologist Ivan W. Kelly. They compared 37 scientific studies to create “Much Ado about the Full Moon” a publication which claimed there was no evidence for the moon having an affect on us. But the moon theories refuse to go away.

So all this may or may not be true but I know it has an effect on me. Here are some of my musings about the moon:

  • HUMAN BEHAVIOUR – The www.scientificamerican.com report that in 2007 several police departments in the U.K. even added officers on full-moon nights in an effort to cope with presumed higher crime rates.

Senior police officers in Brighton, UK announced in June 2007 that they were planning to deploy more officers over the summer to counter trouble they believe is linked to the lunar cycle.[28] This followed research by the Sussex Police force that concluded there was a rise in violent crime when the Moon was full. A spokeswoman for the police force said “research carried out by us has shown a correlation between violent incidents and full moons”. A police officer responsible for the research told the BBC that “From my experience of 19 years of being a police officer, undoubtedly on full moons we do seem to get people with sort of strange behaviour – more fractious, argumentative.”[29]

  • If you fancy keeping track of the moon, its phases, position and affects you can download a moon app. I use this moon app because I love reading the descriptions and the way they have been so obviously translated in a way that makes me smile. I also love the notes on gardening an.d the little moon compass.

screen696x696

  • FERTILITY – Again there is no factual evidence but many females swear that their menstrual cycle is affected by the moon’s cycle. I have always slightly believed this.  If like me you want to sync with the moon check out Mind Body Green’s article. I’m going to give it a go. And if it works maybe invest in the aptly named Moon CupScreen Shot 2017-04-01 at 17.05.39
  • PLANTS – Another unsubstantiated but thoroughly worthy and rewarding past time is ‘moon gardening’:

“In a nutshell, people who garden by the phases of the moon believe that its gravitational pull on the earth’s water (i.e. tides), has a bearing on plant growth. They never plant anything when the moon is waning in the last quarter because it’s believed that the earth’s water table is receding.”

I tried it recently and drew up my own plan for gardening.

IMG_5173If you want to create your own there’s a heap of info over at www.gardeningbythemoon.com.

Well there’s my 2 pennies worth. I’m not always sold by science and remain a little planted in magic. I’ve been recommended a new book on the subject by Yasmin Boland . Its on my amazon wish list so you know if you ever fancy getting me a little something… I’ll go ask the moon.

Reflecting Light

May we all reflect the moon’s light. She offers something mysterious, fleeting yet secure.

Now that I’ve worn out
I’ve worn out the world
I’m on my knees in fascination
Looking through the night
And the moon’s never seen me before
But I’m reflecting light

I rode the pain down
Got off and looked up
Looked into your eyes
The lost open windows
All around
My dark heart lit up the skies

Now that I’ve worn out
I’ve worn out the world
I’m on my knees in fascination
Looking through the night
And the moon’s never seen me before
But I’m reflecting light

Give up the ground
Under your feet
Hold on to nothing for good
Turn and
Chasing you
Stand-alone and misunderstood

Now that I’ve worn out
I’ve worn out the world
I’m on my knees in fascination
Looking through the night
And the moon’s never seen me before
But I’m reflecting light

Sam Phillips

The Owl and the Pussy Cat (re-imagined)

 

I
The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some honey, but never had money,
Wrapped up in his old black coat.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
‘O lovely girl! Who never knew love,
What a beautiful girl you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful girl you are!’

 

II
Puss said to the Owl, ‘You promise me true?
How charmingly sweet you sing!
We’ll run away! If you promise me this:
As my heart is a fierce fragile thing?’
They sailed away, for six years and a day,
To the house where the forest grew thick.
And there in a wood their haven stood.
They lit a fire and watched the flames flick,
Flames flick,
Flames flick,
They watched the flames flick.

 

III
‘Dear Cat, are you willing to sell me your trust?’
My trust?’ said the Puss, ‘I will.’
So he took it away, lived for the day
By the house that stood on the hill.
They dined on things grown, from what they had sown,
Which they ate with a borrowed spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the land,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

 

 

The Snow Leopard

This one is for my beautiful super moon tonight.

Written about reading Peter Matthiesen’s book of the same title:

“I wanted to write a song that reflected the exalted/frustrated way I felt when reading the book, rather than responding to it in a more literal way. Did you see the “Planet Earth” footage of a snow leopard hunting in the Himalayas? So surreal and beautiful…”

The way is to climb
the way is to lie still
and let the moon do its work on your body

and then to rise
through forests and oceans of lives
and through the way of the black rocks, splitting, wide,
and flow
ten thousand miles.”

well, I’ve had enough,
wasting my body, my life
I’ll come away, come away from the shallows

but can this sullen child,
as bound as the ox that i ride,
climb to the heart of the white wind, singing, high,
and blow
through my frozen eyes?

Hawthorn (Maytree)

4a0e7533ff001e9a569f98d8f5bf6115

She awoke.

It was so dark she didn’t know if she was really there.

She inhaled.

Her face full of the metallic earth, all mud, and rain, and rot.

She twitched.

Her fingers grasped the crisp mulch that seeped into her clothes.

She rose.

It was so dark her eyes could only make out shades of black and blue.

She felt.

Her hand reached up to her matted hair and pulled at a leaf.

She blinked.

The shadows became giants, then trees so tall they scraped the sky.

She noticed.

How much more she could see if she stopped and waited.

She discovered.

The moon shone between the holes in the canopy providing just enough.

She moved.

Clambering to her feet she stretched her damp limbs.

She listened.

Around her the world was slow but more noisy than she ever knew.

She considered.

The path ahead was her way out, why she had come here; to die.

She turned.

The path back from where she came still remained.

She paused.

As she did her eye caught sight of a tree; clusters of flowers as bright as the stars.

She was drawn.

It seemed to become the night sky, full of hope in the dark.

She neared.

And walked with open arms into the mass of branches discovering thorns sharp and true.

She cried.

Each snare snatched at her clothes and tore at her skin, but she pushed forward.

She persisted.

Feeling something ok was on the other side, knowing it was something different.

She emerged.

On the other side of the hawthorn there was a path she hadn’t seen before.

She bravely walked.

With leaves in her hair, the moon in her eyes, and blood on her skin.

She began.

A new life on a path she didn’t know but one that could never be the one she’d trod before.

Cleanse

So as you may or may not know I’m not religious or atheist or agnostic, I just am. I’m moderately spiritual and hold belief in nature, energy and the elements. At times of crisis we need something more to see us through and I have found great solace in slowing down and finding synchronicity with the world. I’ve spent lots of time walking and thinking and observing.

The last few days I have been really on edge, and not surprisingly this syncs with the waning moon. The moon is a huge influence on me and I feel drawn to her power.

Today we had a day of cooking, then walking up at ‘The Devil’s Kneading Trough’ in Wye’s Nature Reserve. After a heady and heartfelt ramble through the forest we were treated to the most beautiful sunset. It marked the perfect ending of one phase and a willingness to start the next. We’d had a fire in the garden earlier in the afternoon and we sat in quiet awe on the hillside with woodsmoke in our hair and talked about feeling present.

screen-shot-2016-10-30-at-18-40-03

Checking my moon app it said today is ‘a day of creative thinking, it’s holy and magical, but sometimes it lasts just a few minutes. It is the first day of a lunar month, the beginning of a new moon cycle. This is a very clean (pure) day.’

Processed with VSCO with c3 preset

Back home I fed the fire more until it was so dark I couldn’t see what I was doing. I decided to honour the new cycle by making a smudge stick to fully cleanse the house. It’s something I’ve been meaning to do for a while and today was the perfect day. I found a tutorial here but to be honest its very easy. It does explain their background in Native American Culture so is worth a look.

Processed with VSCO with c2 preset

Mine is mostly the traditional sage, with a little rosemary, thyme and lavender thrown in.

Processed with VSCO with c2 presetI bound it in twine and lit it with one of my homemade candles before wandering through the entire house allowing the smoke to chase away the dark. Little Bear approved, she followed everywhere meowing.

Processed with VSCO with c3 presetI now feel like a proper witch tee hee. It matches my moon glyph tattoos and here it is with the new moon symbol.

19:28 tattoo 

What a day. Nine, yes nine new tattoos…

​​
​Tattoo by Fer

@fervescentattoo

————————————–

shop@19-28tattoo.com

http://www.19-28tattoo.com

Instagram: 19:28 Tattoo Parlour

Facebook: 19:28 Tattoo Barcelona

Facebook: 19:28 Tattoo Berlin

Find us in two of the world´s most exciting cities!

Calle Planeta, 13 – 08012 Barcelona

and

Krumme Strasse, 61 – 10627 Berlin

————————————–

Illustration by Lamb Little 

—————————–

@lamblittle

http://www.etsy.com/ie/shop/LambLittleShop

Bird. Moon. Mirror. Lighthouse. Wolf

hqdefault.jpg

There’s a caged songbird in my chest,

It’s meant for the sky and riding the air.

It forgot how to fly.

It flutters and bleats and can see the other side,

but my ribs hold it captive.

 

There’s a moon in my head,

Its meant for the ocean and to follow the sun.

It forgot how to shine.

It waxes and wanes and can see a path,

but my skull holds it prisoner.

 

There’s a broken mirror in my eye

It is meant to reflect beauty,

It forgot to be present.

Now it only see’s a painful past,
my gaze holds it there.

 

Theres a lighthouse in my soul

It’s meant steer the ship through the storm.

It’s light is buffered by the wind.

It looks to the future and brighter days,

but it’s light is dull against the fog

 

There’s a wolf in my body, 

It’s meant to be brave and care for it’s own.

It lost it’s pack.

It licks it’s wounds and takes time to heal. 

It will bear these scars with pride.