Disentangle

ropeknife

You say we were two lives that need to disentangle.

But really some of each other became the other one.

That’s the problem. Where do you stop and I begin?

It’s less un-knotting and more a case of cutting it out.

It’s not like cutting out fat, sugar and carbs for my diet to make myself more attractive.

If I do this then I crave the bad.

Maybe I let a remanent of us remain?

It’s a dangerous game, I binge then purge.

More than that its like something that’s diseased.

You cut the tumour out stop it spreading.

I find rancid places to cut you out.

A surgeon, a butcher, a self-harmer.

I peel the taste buds from my tongue

because they shared a love of flavours,

that only we could understand and create.

A menu bittersweet.

I gauge the black place in my heart.

Like cutting the mould from cheese to preserve the rest.

Yet you always worry there’s some you didn’t remove,

and you’ll end up all bileĀ inside.

I remove objects and reminders from my home.

Like cutting the pieces of a stencil,

to make it make a new pattern.

I like the way it looks better than before.

I cut poisonous people out of my life,

it’s an attempt to make it happier, but really I’m afraid.

Scared of their judgement,

because that’s what I became.

Some cut the story from the paper

in order to remember and celebrate.

But the card from last year which says ‘I’m still glad I’m in love with you’

is better forgotten as a manipulative lie.

I cut the nails from my toes,

to stop gouging out the flash at the sides.

Occasionally I don’t do it straight enough,

those feet that danced together become hot and infected.

I dig at my flesh, open wounds and peel back scabs.

I cut you out of me but I keep forgetting where me ends and you begin.

I bleed a little to prove I’m still alive,

and it’s still possible to hurt.

Maybe I’ll let a small piece stay,

like an inked scar to mark the moment we were one.

Is this violent act self harm self-preservation? Cruel to be kind?

I cut away part of myself to make room for more.

From A Closet In Norway (Oslo Blues)

I would rather be any place but here

Spin the bottle or roll the dice, my dear
‘Cause I can’t care, I can’t seem to break my fall
It seems I would rather be any place at allSo if the world is round now, why can’t we have everything?
‘Cause the highs are so high, these lows are killing me, killing me, killing me

I remember when wind would make me cry
I remember when wasn’t afraid to die
I wish I’d never, never fallen in love
So take this soul I sold, I’m going back in time

So if the world is round now, why can’t we have everything?
‘Cause the highs are so high, these lows are killing me, killing me, oh, they’re killing me

Seems the dying are the only ones that really know how to live
It seems the dying are the only ones that really know how to live
Seems the dying are the only ones that really know how to live
It seems the dying are the only ones that really know how to live

 



You+Me

 

You and me were always with each other
Before we knew the other was ever there
You and me, we belong together
Just like a breath needs the air

I told you if you called I would come runnin’
Across the highs, the lows and the in-betweens
You and me we’ve got two minds that think as one
And our hearts march to the same beat

They say everything it happens for a reason
You can be flawed enough, but perfect for a person
Someone who will be there for you when you fall apart
Guiding your direction when you’re riding through the dark

Oh that’s you and me

You and me we’re searching for the same light
Desperate for a cure to this disease
Well some days are better than others
But I fear no thing as long as you’re with me

They say everything it happens for a reason
You can be flawed enough, but perfect for a person
Someone who will be there for you when you fall apart
Guiding your direction when you’re riding through the dark

And they say everything it happens for a reason
You can be flawed enough, but perfect for a person
Someone who will be there when you start to fall apart
Guiding your direction when you’re riding through the dark

You + Me